My sister is leaving on Thursday...believe it or not I will miss her...

My sister, Bekah, is leaving on Thursday to spend a bulk of her summer in Moldova, and I must say that I am extremely jealous...I would love to spend a summer over there and get to see the children every day, but that won't happen for me. I'm planning on joining her for her last two weeks over there, God willing. For the past 5-6 months I have been sick, REALLY sick and my doctors are having an extremely difficult time figuring out what is wrong with me. This past semester at school was hard on me. I had surgery back in January with my doctors thinking I would get better, but I only got worse, I could barely make it to class or do anything for that matter. I had to come home just about every week to have tests done to see if they could help me, but nothing has worked or given us any light to what is wrong with me. Still, I did not hesitate one moment to sign up to go to Moldova, after all, it is a place that I love because the children give me a joy that cannot be expressed in words.

To make a VERY LONG story short, I still have not gotten any better and now am facing the possibility of not being able to go to Moldova after all. With each passing day and absolutely zero good news from my doctors, the possibility of me not going is slighty getting greater. This breaks my heart. I know my doctors are working frantically on my case and that there are so many people praying for me to get better, but right now it's a toss up...I know God works in mysterious ways and that I still have a chance to go, but I don't know if I can physically do it. I know God already knows if I am going to be able to go or not, but I don't and it is frustrating. I can barely get through the day, let alone be able to go to another country...

If I am not able to go, I will be truly devastated. My sister is going to be baptized the last week she is there and I would miss that. I would miss all the children I have known and grown to love plus all the children that I look forward to meeting and growing close to. I would miss all the laughter at meals and the stories from each day. Most importantly, I would miss the incredible work that God is doing over there for the children and the country itself. I'm still praying and keeping my fingers crossed that I am able to go, and I know that whatever happens that is what God intended for me to do...it is still hard though.

So, I'm excited for my little sister and a little scared for her too, but I know this is what she wants to do more than anything in the world. She is going to do amazing things during her summer there, I just pray that I am able to go too...